THE PARABLE OF THE TEACHER 

Note: This story was found among Gena (Leedahl) Hovet's belongings after her death.

It came to pass in those days, in the days of the Great War upon the Itelerites, that the schoolteacher said unto herself, “Behold, this Tuesday, which being interpreted, is War Stamp Day.

And she took her seat at her desk and laid thereon her War Stamp Record Book which was provided by the principal, and then she saith unto her students which were of tender years, “So, it is War Stamp Day, and those students who peradventure have brought no money for milk money, nor any lunch money, nor any picture money.  Nay, I will not even take any Junior Red Cross money, nor any cans of peas for the hospital until all the War Stamp money be counted and delivered unto the principal.”

Therefore did she set out the ice cream box with the slit in the top to hold the money, and the students did crowd about her with many pennies and nickels which they set about steadfastly to drop under the desk, and the teacher set down duly in her book what each student had bought.

But it happened that some of the students who had no War Stamp money, but had milk money, did not go straight-way to their seats, but lingered to see the counting of the War Stamps.  And suddenly the teacher did find upon her desk a penny, and when she found that it did not make balance with the rest, she inquired in a loud voice, “whose penny is this?”  And a student saith in a small voice, “It is my milk money.”

Then the teacher lifted up her voice and cried, “Did I not tell the milk children to take their seats?”  Verily, you will get me all mixed up!”  And by reason of her violence the milk children departed to their seats there to take up arguments about a long green pencil and a short yellow one, and the teacher cried out after that, “Hush, hush!”  Of what value is a pencil on War Stamp Day?”

Then the door did open and the hot lunch messenger from above did enter.  So therefore the teacher had to rescind her order and call in a humble voice to the children who wanted lunch tickets.  And lo, some of the War Stamp Children joined with them and also bought hot lunches.  But they were too young to know for a surety whether their pennies should go to the messenger, or to the lady in the cafeteria, or indeed to their teacher.  And there was much argument about them.

Now when the hot lunched had departed the teacher finished with the War Stamps and did call the children to gather about her with milk pennies, and each child put down a penny.  And lo, a certain child said he had already paid for his milk, but the teacher believed him not, because she had set down a zero against his name, and likewise because he first said he gave her a penny and then a nickel, and last that he gave a dime.  And she still believed him not because last year she had his brother, who likewise did make false testimony about money.

But, nevertheless, the teacher, being weak, did pay for his milk because he was thin faced. And the door opened and a big brother did come in with 95 cents for a picture (for they all had their pictures taken in that school).  But not precisely 95 cents was in the envelope, because it was a $2.00 bill, and the wise mother had written thereon, “The change of this for milk money.”  Moreover, the big brother wished 95 cents back again for his own picture, neither did he want a dollar bill, because he wished a nickel for his upper-grade milk.

Then the teacher took out her own pocket-book and made change, and then she was utterly lost, because the War Stamp money came out a dollar too much, notwithstanding the picture money was all under the blotter.

Then the children who paid a penny for milk departed to their seats; as they departed the teacher counted them, and lo, the sum of them was the same as the milk money.  And the teacher lifted up her eyes unto heaven and was glad, and was about to render thanks, when a boy cam and said, “Hath anyone lost a mitten?”

And the teacher cried, “Get thee out of here, for thou knowest that thou shouldest take the mittens to the office.”  (For she knew him and his works and what manner of boy he was.)  And therefore, she proceeded to further chastise him.  “Thou does not desire in thine heart to restore the mittens to their rightful owner, but only to take a pleasant trip around the school and get out of doing thy Number Work and thy Spelling Work.

The boy responded not a word, but as he departed with the mitten, he met boys coming in with 25 bottles of milk.  And at the other door appeareth a big girl with 9 cents for the Junior Red Cross. So, therefore, the teacher took out that book and set down the 9 cents therein, and then lifted off her desk a great many cans of corn for the hospital, and a bag of potatoes, and a summer squash, and she did smile through the aperture she had thus make and did say, “Lo, the moneys are not counted and we will say our Morning Prayer.”  Therefore, did they all join lustily with the teacher and said the prayers, even unto the Nimuto Prayer for the Armed Forces as set forth by the governor, and then it was time to pass out the milk, for indeed the hour was late.

And behold, as the children drank, a boy said, “You have not heard my reading class read.”  And he spake the truth for the teacher had not heard any classes at all.  And another said (albeit she first raised up her hand).  “Behold, I have lost my lunch ticket.”  And the teacher said, (albeit not aloud),  “Behold I have lost my mind.”  But to the child she said, (and she did not even look in that direction) “Verily, thou shalt find thy ticket right under the desk.”  For that was the place it always was at that hour.  And she did not say a word about the old saying of the prophets,  “Verily, if your head were not screwed on tight, you would lose that.”

And lo, as the reading class assembled, the bell rang for recess and the teacher was glad, and she cried in a loud voice, “Do not run!  Neither push nor strike any of your little friends but get you forthwith into your ski pants, even unto the zipper down the legs, and get into line.  And, moreover, do not get into any trouble on the playground for verily I am going to lie down in the Teacher’s Room.”